Perhaps there will come a time in the future, when we look back and remember the advent of the third dimension to the movies. As happened to the sound and color. Of course, right now, we are in full swing "nickelodeon" shows put together by a penny just to surprise the audience, and even more as the famous train that pierced the screen a century ago.
It is inevitable that, having defined the genre in the meantime, the task is to tap into two types of film: horror movies and cartoons, has always voted with extremes of situations, even at the expense of directing, screenwriting, etc. ..
happens. And it happened, unfortunately, also in "My Bloody Valentine 3D", a new transaction-based marketing and glasses when I fell.
Yes, I know. Whenever there is a media phenomenon that breaks the box office syndrome ("The Blair Witch Project"), the film reveals, inevitably, a sloppy and disgraceful sideshow, good only for the trailer, and fears carnevalizio joke.
But anyhow: the horde of three-dimensional puppets arriving in theaters was evasive. So, to document the phenomenon, touching on the series zeta fold of flesh and bones.
Now, it sounds too offensive to you (and me) to stick with a review.
Why not film it, but of simple Funhouse amusement park in the province, with a lot of mining and rail scenario (although it must be said, the villain of the moment is a healthy, ambulatory, and that is a pleasure ).
Right from the opening theme, however, we learn that in the town of Harmony (I do not dwell on the sublime irony of the name) the miner Tom Hanniger for tragic distraction caused an accident in a tunnel of the mine. Die all but one of his co-workers, Harry Warden, who remained in a coma for a year, he wakes up and finds nothing better to do than cut into pieces the hospital staff (as we do not know, there are no clubs ferrate in patients' rooms) before cut and run.
The story (re) starts just a feast of St. Valentine, a group of guys, including himself Hanniger, decide - with admirable insight - the environment in the mine.
Obviously, tearing bodies Warden returns to the delight of the 3d, so as blatant as ridiculous. Indeed, at the end of the new massacre, is also gunshot holes in the agents rushed to the scene. But not killed, God forbid.
Hanniger, however, survived the massacre and, very slightly shaken by the events, he decided to leave. Harmony will return to only ten years later, to sell the lucky that mine was the father.
Welcomed to town with the same warmth, which reserves a witch during the Inquisition (the community takes place at very dell'eccidio), will face her husband, sheriff of his then-girlfriend and a sudden upsurge of crimes perpetrated in the manner preferred by the pickaxe killer (or massacres, dissections, massacres). It is still
Warden? The old country's vow to kill him, but in the pit for scavatagli the opportunity is not nothing left. Thus, hypotheses on the exciting start of the acts (in the city suspect, more than anything to dislike, be it Hanniger). From
deluded, confident of a final pseudo-logical. Instead, this is not enough, the enlightened writers (?) Use, once more, the doping character of the mad. That among other things, we are told, will escape another attempt to capture, dressed as a policeman and away unnoticed (despite the pace caracollante, typical of those who received a volley of machine-gun on him). A fortune.
In closing, a few notes: the film, actually, gutter juice from every pore. Yes often has the feeling, indeed, that the characters are made of polystyrene, given the ease with which the busts are cut, punctured skulls, dislocated jaws. As make-up, nothing to say. As aesthetics, is typical of the serial horrors, with a few forays into various sadistic and dive into the trash (memorable in this sense, the sequence of the hotel, which combines all the typical places like this: nudity on display, made fun of dwarfism, animals crumbled). For the three dimensions, the budget is thin: the objects that I have virtually got him, I dodged a gun, and looked wistfully an eyeball torn. The blows of a pickaxe, but I missed them all, but perhaps it is because sleepiness.
It is inevitable that, having defined the genre in the meantime, the task is to tap into two types of film: horror movies and cartoons, has always voted with extremes of situations, even at the expense of directing, screenwriting, etc. ..
happens. And it happened, unfortunately, also in "My Bloody Valentine 3D", a new transaction-based marketing and glasses when I fell.
Yes, I know. Whenever there is a media phenomenon that breaks the box office syndrome ("The Blair Witch Project"), the film reveals, inevitably, a sloppy and disgraceful sideshow, good only for the trailer, and fears carnevalizio joke.
But anyhow: the horde of three-dimensional puppets arriving in theaters was evasive. So, to document the phenomenon, touching on the series zeta fold of flesh and bones.
Now, it sounds too offensive to you (and me) to stick with a review.
Why not film it, but of simple Funhouse amusement park in the province, with a lot of mining and rail scenario (although it must be said, the villain of the moment is a healthy, ambulatory, and that is a pleasure ).
Right from the opening theme, however, we learn that in the town of Harmony (I do not dwell on the sublime irony of the name) the miner Tom Hanniger for tragic distraction caused an accident in a tunnel of the mine. Die all but one of his co-workers, Harry Warden, who remained in a coma for a year, he wakes up and finds nothing better to do than cut into pieces the hospital staff (as we do not know, there are no clubs ferrate in patients' rooms) before cut and run.
The story (re) starts just a feast of St. Valentine, a group of guys, including himself Hanniger, decide - with admirable insight - the environment in the mine.
Obviously, tearing bodies Warden returns to the delight of the 3d, so as blatant as ridiculous. Indeed, at the end of the new massacre, is also gunshot holes in the agents rushed to the scene. But not killed, God forbid.
Hanniger, however, survived the massacre and, very slightly shaken by the events, he decided to leave. Harmony will return to only ten years later, to sell the lucky that mine was the father.
Welcomed to town with the same warmth, which reserves a witch during the Inquisition (the community takes place at very dell'eccidio), will face her husband, sheriff of his then-girlfriend and a sudden upsurge of crimes perpetrated in the manner preferred by the pickaxe killer (or massacres, dissections, massacres). It is still
Warden? The old country's vow to kill him, but in the pit for scavatagli the opportunity is not nothing left. Thus, hypotheses on the exciting start of the acts (in the city suspect, more than anything to dislike, be it Hanniger). From
deluded, confident of a final pseudo-logical. Instead, this is not enough, the enlightened writers (?) Use, once more, the doping character of the mad. That among other things, we are told, will escape another attempt to capture, dressed as a policeman and away unnoticed (despite the pace caracollante, typical of those who received a volley of machine-gun on him). A fortune.
In closing, a few notes: the film, actually, gutter juice from every pore. Yes often has the feeling, indeed, that the characters are made of polystyrene, given the ease with which the busts are cut, punctured skulls, dislocated jaws. As make-up, nothing to say. As aesthetics, is typical of the serial horrors, with a few forays into various sadistic and dive into the trash (memorable in this sense, the sequence of the hotel, which combines all the typical places like this: nudity on display, made fun of dwarfism, animals crumbled). For the three dimensions, the budget is thin: the objects that I have virtually got him, I dodged a gun, and looked wistfully an eyeball torn. The blows of a pickaxe, but I missed them all, but perhaps it is because sleepiness.
INFORMATION
S. Valentine of Blood - 3d
In a sentence: "I did not realize that was the mine's"
Sconsigliatissimo: to anyone who loves horror movies (it's unspeakably boring), the three dimensions (are wasted) and the feast of St. Valentino (put flowers in your picks).
Rating: KKKK
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