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Watchmen Valkyrie - Hi, Hitler

I did not review it. I mean really. You a film that, despite the theme, goes rather unnoticed. Directed without flash, didactic story, acting craft. In short, the classic detective. Shot in costume because of the scenario: Hitler's Germany in disarray, the year 1944.

though. There is always a however. Because if you put the camera behind Bryan Singer (and writer Christopher McQuarrie, his companion of the "Usual Suspects"). If you put in front of Tom Cruise. And if you dressed up with a bandage, a crippled arm and a hair style Groucho Marx. If you do this, you expect something, for better or for worse. Of course, preferably in evil.

spoken, I guess it already know, a true story. A conspiracy that seeks to kill Adolf Hitler concocted by Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg in the Wehrmacht (Cruise, of course), in full decline of Nazi dominance. The war is being lost, and before they bombed a base camp (putting on eye and hand), our meditation to overturn the Fuhrer. Gather, not without difficulty, various followers, more or less involved with the regime, to rewrite the 'Valkyrie' which gives the title to the film: it is a plan to convene the military reserve of the Reich in the event of Allied invasion. The colonel decided to draw up changing the premise: no longer an external attack, but a coup. With the death of Hitler annexed, and subsequent removal of the SS. Ambitious idea, which will be signed (not trouble to read from cover to cover what goes on your desk) by the Chancellor himself. History tells us that, for a mistake, the plot will not have the desired effect. The attack (a bomb exploded by Stauffenberg and the "den of wolves," the bunker of Hitler, during a meeting of high-profile) does not kill the Fuhrer. However, suffice to induce the author, returning to Berlin, to spread the false news of death to seize power. The catch can only beginning, as long as Hitler does not notify the hierarchy that is still alive, and that the army must punish the traitors.

Now, it is harder to shoot a thriller, already knowing the ending, was guessed. That the story is loose and bad in the second half, after the attack failed, it was predictable. But notwithstanding this, no one has pointed out to Singer that something terrible had happened with the casting, honestly, no, you could imagine. Why walk when choosing to play the lead in Tom Cruise (who is American, but well known), but that all co-stars in the role of German generals, are British, it is absolutely unacceptable. In series: Tom Wilkinson (English), Bill Nighy (English), Terence Stamp (English). More Kenneth Branagh (Northern Ireland). Even Hitler (ie actor David Bamber) is English. He soon suspects that the script is Churchill (I suspect soon foiled, given the results of the plot).

The rest? Not better. And not because they are not detailed the personal reasons of the leader of the conspirators (as some critics would have liked, that perhaps he thought of facing a documentary). But why Cruise, who personifies, is clearly not at ease. Reduced to obedience by the black patch, mask repression and anger for his part, wearing the glass eye just before the Fuhrer. But he can not resist the ridiculous, at least in two scenes: one in which the secretary looks after the drafting of the first Line of Operation ("Adolf Hitler is dead"), a true monument embarrassment, another unforgettable experience, in which screaming at full screen, lifting the stump, "Heil Hitler." Hi, saw the cast, it would be more appropriate.

not be the best Chancellor, however. Less geometric than hoped, it is hesitant and stoned, wandering around the scene with the look of the hound that does not identify what you smell. And coming, as appropriate, indoctrinated or blatantly made fun of. In addition to bombing, as we already knew. Moreover, it seems the least: the army of the Queen has now taken possession of Berlin, while the Fuhrer in his buen retiro, pleasantly sipping a cup of tea.

INFORMATION

Valkyrie

In a sentence: "Every second we lose a second is lost"
Sconsigliatissimo: anyone think that a film the Nazis should have, at least, a fair player.
Rating: KKK

Is It Ok To Wear A Black Hat With Brown Boots

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D

3 sizes - 2 reviews! Why, even in times of crisis, we do not miss anything - and then, who the fuck are believed to be those of New Line?

Warning: I have a powerful impulse to argue with Egon. Not only to report my opinion but to oppose her, contrasting points of view, overlay the review, in fact trigger the brawl critics. So, because I'm nice. And because the film, let's face it right away (via your teeth - those of the T-Rex, that "hurt" as Fraser tells us the inexpressible - the pain away!), Is filthy and full unsalvageable. And I dragged him there, the friend Spengler, looking for excitement 3D. Then I meditate on vengeance and terrible revenge. But I will try to be objective and, above all, to focus the regurgitation to the squalid circus crap, and not connected to the reviewer. Imo, therefore, the center of mud.

Question: How do we talk of nothing? Wittgenstein would follow and finally, rapid and affossanti, that's what you can not talk is a must keep quiet. But we want to be generous (false, the case of logorrhea), and proceed to quibble, however. In this case we have 93 minutes (according to Internet Movie Database: do not think I let him control the display of a watch or mobile phone, desolate two-dimensional, while the 3D experience) of absolute emptiness, dotted with a script that does not exist ridiculous, crude special effects to themselves, and a few irritating things human, brutal violence against the work of a great writer.

sum up: a bunch of stinking producers, writers and directors have read (reluctantly) a reduction of a children's book by Jules Verne. Hit by lighting premature have decided to make a blockbuster - but it is not a trivial thing, heck, let's do so in 3D! That technology has made great strides, and where the talent is now extinct, we can compensate with computer graphics. Hoplà imbarchiamoci in the booth and involve the most likeable (and Panzano) Brendanfraser-to-the-mummy, served with unknown actors and lazy beyond measure. We have him, the infallible Brendan, in the role of a professor geology. Bizarre, in the life and research, and in the throes of a psychotic obsession with her brother disappeared 12 years before pursuing some insane passion for science fiction in a cave in Iceland. On the verge of total collapse in the workplace and in private life now in shambles, he is saved by the arrival of grandson: thirteen nano hyper, but his uncle Scazzi ingrifato from all forms of female life, is now the Fraser sbolognato to ex-wife's brother late craving to go to look for a house in Canada. The undeveloped (the kid, not the adult), although heroically selfless work of his uncle (work, oh well ...), he is more awake to see that on a monitor stand out 4 and not 3 lights intermittent. This, of lottery numbers marked with a cross from his brother-father on a stale copy of Journey to the Center of the Earth, induce "or professor" to be paid through collection of coins that occupies the kitchen table, air travel to Iceland , dragging the infant. Once there know the pussy in office (elementary grammar of action movies, come on!), Mountain guide by trade, also a relative of an orphan (the old father) because Verne and geology (the combination that makes the most dead of smallpox , apparently). The convincing, not the rhetoric and the love of good science, but ripped a nutshell, to guide them to the mouth of a volcano in search of the origin of Lucina. From here onwards, svacca really. The first trio ends up trapped in a cave shut, then mines along riding a cart in the footsteps of Indy finally gets wise to walk on a layer of Moscow (rock thin, for those of you who had a doctorate in geology) in order stock up on diamonds. The landslide Moscow, fall to our infinite time along a tunnel that leads, guess what?, At the center of the planet. Where they land safely (ok. ..) and discover a wonderful world. This is equivalent to the viewer, for a good hour of torture in digital. Nothing is real and everything, however, is powerfully ridiculous. The sparrows are fluorescent and benevolent, tusks and aggressive fish, brother dead and buried by the sea, the heat - for the protagonists - unbearable. Luckily, suffer, by God! Again: Brendan eradication, grabbing the testicles, a giant carnivorous plant size, sailed the ocean is infested by a species of giant kite (which then drags the dwarf, in a hilarious scene especially the scream of pain from a Fraser clearly in digestive phase), instead of devouring the tyrannosaurus deburr the thirteen prefer him by surprise. And then died from what is cracked, crumbling ignominiously on a thin layer of Moscow - you see, not to study, you idiot?

At the end of the journey the trio, despite repeated attempts to sabotage his professor and a common survival Salvation comes in the form of convenience geyser elevator located at the end of a river. Sailing, for your unfailing satisfaction, enormous jaws of a dinosaur conveniently adapted to Icelandic dall'avvenente gondola (which, meanwhile, has slightly revised their positions on mental health of the deceased parent). Blast from Vesuvius, which we find to be cultivated by a local vineyard - that speaks a bit 'of Sicily, for good measure. So, is silenced (and subsided in his despair over the devastation of the vineyard) the offer of an ambush by thirteen diamonds. In conclusion

Fraser failed to pass the workplace and in private life successful scientist and hero action (though overweight) is more European with blonde chick and satisfaction for having rehabilitated the memory of his brother insane. The grandson, however, has stolen a bird luminescence and if you lost in the city with the result likely to irreparably destroy our ecosystem. Not content with this, we salute and promising to meet again soon with the gift of a book on Atlantis. I fear a sequel. There is no choice, I will rip an eye - no binocular vision should, if nothing else, escape the curse treddì.

INFORMATION

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D

In a sentence: "yes, oh well, spit in my face, damn it!" - Continued from Fraser spitting towards the camera. In 3D.

Sconsigliatissimo: Verne was my favorite writer, as a child. I need not say more.

Rating: KKK (one for each dimension, and they are generous)

Flip Mino Differences In Generation

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D

I have to admit it. I would not be intrigued by "Journey to the Center of the Earth" in the title if some esprit de finesse had not added the word "3D". Three dimensions! How long since I went to see a movie in three dimensions! The last time happened to Eurodisney with a short Landis called "Captain Eo", where Michael Jackson still black, struggling without fear that dropped the nose. But the first (and only) to the cinema was a few years earlier: "Nightmare 6 - the end", however true ugliness that could get worse in the final sequences, when it was with deep thanks to the prodigious spectacles. Well, glasses: more than just another dreary cardboard frames with plastic instead of colored lenses. Very good, at most, for those who want to enjoy a solar eclipse, though indispensable: no, all the characters would look like Pizza Margherita, that of "Spaceballs."

Today, however, times have changed. The glasses are no longer cartoon but plasticatissimi and hyper style ironworker. Will cost one euro more on the price of the ticket, but it's worth it because you subscribed to the multiplex well as generous trailer in three dimensions (all figures, however). You just have to come into the room, approach the officer scazzatissimo fun, and take over, in sealed bag, the magic tools. Wear and enjoy. But then, please, please return, because in times of crisis you do not give her anything, and it is a sin. Those were once pret-a-porter.

Plot. Eh, let's face it: the history, at least that good, he has already written Verne, then do a wrong to him, you and some more analytical reviewer (any reference to Stantz is purely coincidental) if you tell it to word for word . I therefore limit myself to the essentials: there is a seismologist failed (the probable Brendan Fraser), placed there, in spite of himself, his grandson thirteen years at home for a few days. Along with a volley of insults of the deal kid (voiced by a 35 year-old mysteriously, perhaps to suggest the presence of the infantile maturity uncle), the box also comes a with the personal effects of his brother, the father of pain in the ass, who died in mysterious circumstances during an expedition in Iceland. Among a yo-yo and some ridiculous contraption, our hero discovers the presence of oily and greasy edition of "Journey to the Center of the Earth Verne, glossed with strange hieroglyphics - go to understand the case - recall verbatim the his scientific research. Excited by the coincidence, decided to go with his nephew to Iceland, all taken from the fanaticism of his predecessor: his brother, in fact, was a Verne, which is a bizarre individual believes that Verne's stories are true, and that exists beneath our feet indeed another world, not - as you know for centuries - the circles of Dante.

he arrived, he meets un'autoctona very pretty, she also involved in relationships inconvenient fact is the daughter of a sort of post-litteram Chester Copperpot, who died a few years, and also - alas - Verne hard. Among a yellowed page and another (rest in peace, Jules), the three decide to march to shed light on theories scombicchierate visionaries. And here begins the fun (?). The film, in fact, throughout the first part focuses on the gullibility of Fraser, which is drawn on top of the lightning, then generates a landslide, trapping him and his fellow sufferers in a cave Finally, try to take them out of giving, inevitably, wrong and dangerous suggestions.

The moral of the result is intuitive: Verne's theories are ultraviolet, so our find themselves actually very warm in the center of the Earth, facing upstairs creatures that are extinct for centuries, or at best considered in the books (fiction) science. Meanwhile also found the remains of the hero's brother, will face risks of any sort, and manage to rise to the surface, falling on the slopes of Vesuvius.

you ask and the 3D? Well, not cheating. After a string of warnings (Fraser, who spits on him, a colleague of Fraser, who draws a meter, yo-yo that plunges you in the face), get the show: truck died on the tracks, fungoni Gigantone, neon birds, flying fish toothed (great for playing baseball), stones suspended and, last but not least, Tyrannosaurus rex, which will save You Showers, more and better than Fraser. In short, a rimasticatura Indiana Jones, or rather certain businesses of Nicholas Cage, embellished with some holes in the script (the backpacks of the characters disappear and reappear magically, as needed) and an absolute gem, announced in the trailer: Fraser, renowned biologist who saw a seething river of bright red, "is lava." Thanks, I understood even in two dimensions.

INFORMATION

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D

In a sentence: "I go to Google to 9000 meters"
Sconsigliatissimo: to anyone who saw the performance of Fraser in "The Mummy" was holding the mummy.
Rating: KK (warning: if you wear glasses, become four )