Saturday, February 7, 2009

Flip Mino Differences In Generation

Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D

I have to admit it. I would not be intrigued by "Journey to the Center of the Earth" in the title if some esprit de finesse had not added the word "3D". Three dimensions! How long since I went to see a movie in three dimensions! The last time happened to Eurodisney with a short Landis called "Captain Eo", where Michael Jackson still black, struggling without fear that dropped the nose. But the first (and only) to the cinema was a few years earlier: "Nightmare 6 - the end", however true ugliness that could get worse in the final sequences, when it was with deep thanks to the prodigious spectacles. Well, glasses: more than just another dreary cardboard frames with plastic instead of colored lenses. Very good, at most, for those who want to enjoy a solar eclipse, though indispensable: no, all the characters would look like Pizza Margherita, that of "Spaceballs."
Today, however, times have changed. The glasses are no longer cartoon but plasticatissimi and hyper style ironworker. Will cost one euro more on the price of the ticket, but it's worth it because you subscribed to the multiplex well as generous trailer in three dimensions (all figures, however). You just have to come into the room, approach the officer scazzatissimo fun, and take over, in sealed bag, the magic tools. Wear and enjoy. But then, please, please return, because in times of crisis you do not give her anything, and it is a sin. Those were once pret-a-porter.
Plot. Eh, let's face it: the history, at least that good, he has already written Verne, then do a wrong to him, you and some more analytical reviewer (any reference to Stantz is purely coincidental) if you tell it to word for word . I therefore limit myself to the essentials: there is a seismologist failed (the probable Brendan Fraser), placed there, in spite of himself, his grandson thirteen years at home for a few days. Along with a volley of insults of the deal kid (voiced by a 35 year-old mysteriously, perhaps to suggest the presence of the infantile maturity uncle), the box also comes a with the personal effects of his brother, the father of pain in the ass, who died in mysterious circumstances during an expedition in Iceland. Among a yo-yo and some ridiculous contraption, our hero discovers the presence of oily and greasy edition of "Journey to the Center of the Earth Verne, glossed with strange hieroglyphics - go to understand the case - recall verbatim the his scientific research. Excited by the coincidence, decided to go with his nephew to Iceland, all taken from the fanaticism of his predecessor: his brother, in fact, was a Verne, which is a bizarre individual believes that Verne's stories are true, and that exists beneath our feet indeed another world, not - as you know for centuries - the circles of Dante.
he arrived, he meets un'autoctona very pretty, she also involved in relationships inconvenient fact is the daughter of a sort of post-litteram Chester Copperpot, who died a few years, and also - alas - Verne hard. Among a yellowed page and another (rest in peace, Jules), the three decide to march to shed light on theories scombicchierate visionaries. And here begins the fun (?). The film, in fact, throughout the first part focuses on the gullibility of Fraser, which is drawn on top of the lightning, then generates a landslide, trapping him and his fellow sufferers in a cave Finally, try to take them out of giving, inevitably, wrong and dangerous suggestions.
The moral of the result is intuitive: Verne's theories are ultraviolet, so our find themselves actually very warm in the center of the Earth, facing upstairs creatures that are extinct for centuries, or at best considered in the books (fiction) science. Meanwhile also found the remains of the hero's brother, will face risks of any sort, and manage to rise to the surface, falling on the slopes of Vesuvius.
you ask and the 3D? Well, not cheating. After a string of warnings (Fraser, who spits on him, a colleague of Fraser, who draws a meter, yo-yo that plunges you in the face), get the show: truck died on the tracks, fungoni Gigantone, neon birds, flying fish toothed (great for playing baseball), stones suspended and, last but not least, Tyrannosaurus rex, which will save You Showers, more and better than Fraser. In short, a rimasticatura Indiana Jones, or rather certain businesses of Nicholas Cage, embellished with some holes in the script (the backpacks of the characters disappear and reappear magically, as needed) and an absolute gem, announced in the trailer: Fraser, renowned biologist who saw a seething river of bright red, "is lava." Thanks, I understood even in two dimensions.
INFORMATION
Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D
In a sentence: "I go to Google to 9000 meters"
Sconsigliatissimo:
to anyone who saw the performance of Fraser in "The Mummy" was holding the mummy.
Rating: KK (warning: if you wear glasses, become four )

Friday, January 30, 2009

Preperation H Safe For Pets?

's book Shining

Phil Buehler A well thought of giving has published the book writer gone mad in The Shining , populated by the recurring phrase "All work and no play Makes Jack a dull boy" graphics in various combinations. Now, given that Buehler is Dylan Thomas, or Samuel Beckett, the only hope is that Jack Torrance's request rights work. Possibly with an ax in his hand.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Extreme Cuspid Amp 1600 Watt Amp

IMAGO Mortis

Preface necessary: \u200b\u200bI do not like horror. Egon, sincere friend and a lover of the genre, I drag it easy to find reviews for himself. Being a student is angry because of the kind more often in front of the rubbish that has been shaped over the years. But this time the product is such that I, too, either amateur or expert fees, I can fully fruirlo. And I will Warning: I do not like angry, quite the contrary. I would say that they are still entranced by the experience.

awesome. This, in short, what I would say the film. Nothing works, you do not save anything. And they are generous. As a child they are opened the gates of Toyland I look around drooling and I do not know where to start. In deference to readers, I provide a summary of the plot.

In an unknown location, which may embody the eye Transylvania Indore from a perennial monsoon type climate, with buckets of rain from morning till night (not that stand) and forest floor composed of species of dwarf willows an unbearable sadness, is the Murnau Institute. This is prestigious (yes, ok ...) academy of cinema. Or something like that. There overwinter students from every place on earth - in fact abound English-surnames, but spaced from Germany, probably Italian, and some Slavic origin, finance, the Chinese / Japanese totally unjustified. The lucky they share, however, enjoying the comfort conditions arm type of insulation to Alcatraz season '55 / '56 and hygiene type Manzoni fever, aches and occasional joys of studying cinema in the elite atmosphere. The equipment is, probably, the stock funds of the Lumiere brothers, a handful of teachers retiring psychos, the dilapidated building, the surroundings - If nothing else - an invitation to suicide. Among them is around, worried, our protagonist - Bruno Marquez, has an enviable repertoire of two facial expressions. In the first, which uses especially in the presence of his beloved Ariadne (a tooth but moderately attractive Oona Chaplin), entranced by the ride's incurable imbecility. The second is that of unjustified fear - unless he feels the laughable, insistent piece of music with which we are scheduled for 2 or 3 minutes the imminent appearance of a ghost (authorial finesse, of course). Yes, because there are ghosts. Unraveling the intricate (certo!) plot, I'll let the owner of the funeral manor riadibito a dormitory for adolescents (such Countess Orsini, played by Geraldine Chaplin - in my opinion, had debts of the family), motivated by innocent curiosity, years ago, bought equipment and documents that were the legacy of a certain Girolamo Fumagalli (by Brambilla, probably , we will mention in another film). He, in an attempt to make the world a worse place (and to divert attention from some of its revised options in terms of hats), he devoted his life to try to photograph the last image seen by a human being before his death. Unfortunately achieved his goal, he built a contraption from the fanciful name Tanatoscopio (indecipherable to the acute protagonist, we feel that asking "What, what's the use?"). Basically, you sit in front of a voluntary settlement of our choice. Then you kill him planting a screw in the skull and simultaneously tear their eyeballs, which will then be stamped by the final image on a pane of glass. Almost as comfortable as a Polaroid, Fumagalli good. More recently, attempts to use the gimmick to earn profit, however, death and madness. Schiatta Tanatoscopata starred in a movie, lineage committed suicide on her boyfriend, the son of a professor (perhaps, or just an old man who lives in the attic). Which, however, haunts the place as a ghost. And infestations well the days of Marquez - who already has his own problems. The family's just died in an accident - but it seems the lesser evil since, because of this, the benevolent Orsini pushes the rector Prof. Olinsky (Álex Angulo , an idol) to resume as operator of the smelly, maleolento, dusty archives of the school and useless. One of the highest aspirations of the young, for the rest:

  1. vainly tries to seduce the incisive (but also canine premolar ...) links Arianna, that while there would be easy and it is all to say, given that he is clearly a poorly trained monkey;

  2. making friends with a small dealer with a one-eyed alcoholic and friendly name of Orpheus (friendship-based Absinthe, it is clear);

  3. performs brilliantly in class assignments, to say as presenting photography on "time" the portrait of a bird smangiucchiato and rotted;

  4. the face of the vein of joy.

In all of this is selected by the ghost for directions to where he is the Tanatoscopio. Surprise! He's not even buried, but placed on the ground, 5 meters and no entrance to a cave on the back of the house of Orsini. She and her entourage were seeking him for about 40 years. The Marquez, however, does not know what they are getting. He lost his gimmick is the hostile Olinsky (which, late in his pique, convenes plenary session of the school to define Bruno "a poor man with problems" with which we must be good because the family has just died and is mentally unstable) helplessly to a series of deaths. In truth, few if any dreams. If nothing else, he finally realizes that she lies odontofascinosa girlfriend. Which is then gradually suspicious of the entrances of our dementia. He, first to figure it out, let it die deoculati many colleagues (and also the poor Orpheus, is suspected - it is just a monocle). Finally you make a fool of by the villain, and is about to lose not only his life (Sticazzi) but also that of Chaplin saber-tooth, which would also be a sin. But the old Aston, father of the young suicide / ghost intervenes to smooth rhythm and saves the day, autotanatoscopandosi in the face of those responsible.

Imago Mortis To Oculos affectionate, he says, and free all the lost souls. Obedient to his wishes, Brown and Arianna (who in the meantime, saturated with love, he called Calavera, or died of skull) develop tanatografia - perfect, it seems. Son of satisfaction. Olinsky at the end of the movie brings home with him and congratulates all (with a very shaky hand, but definitely granite in comparison with that of Aston) the old Chaplin. The young protagonist and the unwatchable but they pack up and leave the Murnau. For the first time in weeks it does not rain. Yet another fine touch of class.

In all this, a stream of obscenities film as you see them rarely. Given that it is not given to be exhaustive, the following short list:

  • assembly according to the school to minchiam : either follow the rhythm of a victim of multiple ischemic attack or is treated as an uncomfortable task;

  • sensational screenplay - you will reach genuine, sublime heights of unintentional comedy;

  • acting in absolute levels, however, stands out on all Álex Angulo AKA Olinsky - he's a strong resemblance to the great depth of Wittenberg. Hans rushes down the ravine, alternating looks stunned ripping laughter immediate totally random movements of the hands (a memorable confrontation with Aston during which, in the middle of a sentence, takes no reason to rotate your right forearm with an open hand and rigid);

  • is not alone, however, to launch sudden and distressing looks in a car

  • the old Chaplin is clearly in the drug for the duration of the thing;

  • score less than amateurish;

  • winks cinephiles 0.2 full money ever: Murnau, Caligari, but please!

and much more we could add. There is only allows to specify: Stephen Besson, apparently teaches Directed at Cinecittà. There was to choose between this and the Ebola virus. For once, Africa has gone to great ass.

inevitable postscript: during I felt chills of the projection. I thought it was Stendhal syndrome. The next 36 hours with high fever and symptoms equestrian assorted convinced that I have the flu but was playing a role. But believe me, it's really something spectacular. Unfortunately the ending does not seem the prelude to a sequel. Otherwise, in homage to the rule that such products are worse than the original, see Imago Mortis 2 I brought family and friends by organizing a welcome cocktail. Other than the day of my graduation.


INFORMATION

Imago Mortis

In a sentence: "[doing so] will release all the souls, but especially will come the perfect tanatografia ...


Sconsigliatissimo: boh? I really recommend it. I laughed so much. Well, perhaps if you love the horror is not the case. Not at all.

Rating: KKKKk

Friday, December 26, 2008

Christian Wrestling Singlet

The Spirit

As we are in the Christmas spirit, this time not cast your hand. Why, actually, The Spirit also could not be reviewed, since a few tears and the laughter is not boring. But you know that this is a service book, So nothing is not silent.
Frank Miller, who was promoted to the comic book aesthetic subject with Sin City, tries again: Go directly to the director (of a story but not his own), replicating shots of onset and color suggestions. Too bad that the result coincides with expectations. Why are not enough close-ups, details and silhouettes to make a movie. The decor is '30s (we already had quite irritated nell'insopportabile Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: who knows, maybe we'll talk about) is a bet too easy, and masked heroes who try to emulate Batman, instead svaccarla as Alec Baldwin Shadow Man, we would have filled balls.
Even the Spirit, in fact, though coveted by flower girls - Eva Mendes, Scarlett Johansson, Paz Vega, to name only the most well known - try to copulate with the black heart of the City, not Gotham Central but, falling in love with every alley, or sewer stake rather than accept their own humanity . And the interpreter, which seems to fool the granddaughter of Ray Liotta, certainly does not help. Good thing against him throws a more strong-willed villain, the Octopus of Samuel L. Jackson, now a guarantee of the days of carnival Snakes on a plane.
not know, however, who has designed the script. Throughout the first time clearly seems to be in a movie by Tinto Brass, given the amount of industrial allusive phrases, winks and various itching, as well as, a corollary, some are worthy of a better fate: Eva Mendes you photocopy your butt, Scarlett Johansson (right arm, in fact, right tit, the enemy's) version of sado-nazi, and a stolid fat permanently cloned, tortured and killed. At times, emerges even the shadow of Mel Brooks.
The story, in itself, says little. The Spirit is surrounded by women more or less lost to him since childhood, and for a spell that shares with his enemy (the Octopus said that occasionally the swollen fists or pleasure), manages to survive the most terrifying blows. Should not, however, his alter ego takes possession of the blood of Heracles, the fluid that gives immortality, coveted for reasons of land (read: money), even from his old flame Eva Mendes. Will - for now - on the job, leaving behind many female victims: the fascinating aquatic ghost who claims the soul (Death version of Avion Travel), the doctor who heals the wounds, hoping in vain that he cure her, the jealous dancer in Paris, etc. .. Is closed, of course, with the lone hero leaping between the rooftops of the city, complete with a eulogy on the outskirts of the voice-overs, and a red tie to counter the ridiculous shades of gray. It is a filthy, not even a good movie.
INFORMATION
The Spirit
In a sentence: "you're talking like a madman. A mad folly that says"
Sconsigliatissimo:
who liked Sin City, and even more Salon Kitty.
Rating:
Kk (it is the Spirit of Christmas, you believe that?)